I am so fucking upset, but you'll just NEVER know.

Panic attack.

Eek. Today's Monday. Surgery is scheduled 8 days from today. Freaking out? Hell yes. I'm actually really really scared now cause I don't know what to expect. Never undergone one before that's why I really don't know how to pep talk myself. Telling myself no more awkward lump? What I could think of is how to take care of myself after that. 1 week of no washing hair? 1 week of not moving my neck too vigorously? 1 week of home bound isn't that bad, I could sleep in and watch a lot of shows. 3 weeks of no carrying heavy stuff, but enlighten me, how heavy is heavy? I. Am. Freaking. Out. TQVM.

Internship ending in 1 week to be exact. I will miss the intern party. Sucks! Then after that everyday will just zoom zoom by. Have yet figured about ielts because nobody is being helpful and I am the only one worrying about it. Wisdom tooth to be scheduled remove surgically. That is freaking me out too. I really hate needles and the pressure I endure everytime because I can never prepare myself well. Eek. I need a plan B. suggestions? It's 2am and I have work in 6.5hrs. Great. :(

Corp fin is in 15hours time. I am having mental block. I cannot remember what I know. I have no idea about real options. I don't know what else I need to know. I don't know if I can pass this paper. I need 30.5/60 for this paper to pass. Sounds little but it's not easy.

It's 2.13am. I hate to know I still have time to make a difference in what I know and what I don't but it seems that I cannot do anything abou it anymore.

I gave up though I know I shouldn't. Sigh! I need help. :((((((( sigh but it's too late.

is furious.

stop taking things for granted.

GROW UP PLEASE!

i swear one day i lose my cool, that's it. you're DOOMED.

HUGE SIGH!

I feel really scared now. I suppose all exam pressure had kicked in. HARD. I have exactly 2 weeks or actually 13days to 1st paper. Least looking forward and doubt ill ever do well. Corporate finance. how did i myself land in this shit to do double major? Kill me please. Noone's gonna help me, not my friends definitely.

I'm trying very hard. Watching lectopia, reading the handouts and the textbook. It's not working. HOW? i cannot afford to pay 10k to redo this subject. I loathe anything with corporate and loathe anything with jason hall. Yes, he makes everybody's life tough. WE'RE ONLY STUDENTS! Not WORKING in a finance field now hello!

i dont get how its so unfair that some people just dont listen to lecture, dont even make the effort to watch lectopia, dont even bother opening the textbook and still can do well. any justice to that?!

ugh. pray for me and hope for the best. i'm not asking for much. just a pass will do. not much to ask. i just need 30.5/60 to pass. that's all i need.